Dave Worley

I'm Dave. I was Antonia's boyfriend. I first met her online in August 2005, and we grew close over the next six months, before eventually becoming boyfriend and girlfriend on the 6th February 2006. We were together, in this world at least, for a year, two weeks and two days. I'm going to write a lot here, it won't just be the first bit that you see now. This will be my outlet of all my feelings about Antonia's death, so I will make quite a few updates.

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A letter to Antonia, written Tuesday 24th April 2007.

Hey sweetheart. I need a fucking hug babe. I really wish you were here. These two months have been so hard. You know how much I miss you. I wish it didn't have to be like that. I guess I should take the positives but they're all outweighed by the one single fact that you're not here and no matter what I'm never going to see you again, at least not in this life.

That cuts me in two, to be honest. I need to get up at 7am on a Saturday to go to Wolves and come see you in Preston. It was a tough life we had but it was worth it. I love you more than I ever could have said - I must have told you a thousand times but it didn't convey quite how much I actually did. The last thing you heard me say was "I love you" which was fitting, I guess. Everything is a blur though, babe. It's like the whole world passes me by while I'm stuck here, February 22nd, waiting for you to call me, text me, come online - just to let me know you're safe. Wanting what I can't have, eh? It's like I see all these people being happy and I wonder when I will be again.

So what are you up to, wherever you are now? Have you slipped around to the places you want to go? Painted a picture of the pyramids? Been to Russia and seen the Kremlin? If you get the chance, you should go to the West Midlands Safari Park. They've got the only white tiger cubs in Britain and they're awesomely cute. I was going to take you, but I guess you should go alone now. This may seem very un-Davey like but I'm unhappy because we've missed out on doing things like that. But I shouldn't because you can still do all these things, just on your own.

I guess that's another thing - I can be happy without you - but when I am I feel wrong for being happy. I don't want to be happy without you.

But I have to be don't I? I can't be sad or I will go totally crazy.

And besides, why shouldn't I be happy? I had an awesome girlfriend who was deeply in love with me. I have 12 months of amazing memories and amazing times that I can not, and never will, forget. I have awesome presents and gifts you gave me that make me think of you when I use them. My camera, my watch, books, t-shirts, DVDs, videos... Everything.

Most of all, I've had the chance to cross the path of the most amazing girl in the world, and I'll never forget that.

I love you always darling; never forget :)
Davey
xxx